This is the thing: When celebrating New Year, for the first time in my entire human life I didn't have any wishes at all. Not one. I still don't. It wasn't an intellectual decision - it was a spontaneous state, a natural knowing that my life and your life and every life and every thing is an unfolding creation and that the unfolding is created by the ultimate wisdom, love, creativity, joy.... and there really is nothing else for me to do than just watch it unfold and play my role in it as that unfolds too. There is nothing there to wish.

Where do you not find it??? :-)

Clearly, I still have lots of funny beliefs being reflected in experiences that appear not sacred. But, that's just appearances. Sacred appearances, in fact!

I believe there is value in all experiences, including suffering and other challenges. But the experiences (and thus the meaning of it) can differ greatly depending on your journey.

At this point of my journey I know on a very deep level that suffering - as convincing as it may appear - is an illusion. I don't experience that illusion personally anymore (although I may again at some point, you never know), and when I see the illusion playing out in my world, my immediate reaction is love and appreciation and admiration for those who explore such challenges as part of their journey.

Amazingly, I hardly ever get a chance to "deal" with fear anymore. Amazingly, because just like any other "normal" human I've been driven by fear most of my life, in countless ways, both subtle and not so subtle.

About 10 years ago I discovered how supportive it is not to try to run from fear, not try to make it go away, but rather feel it, embrace it. It helped me to not fear fear itself and thus not let myself get paralyzed by it.

About 4 years ago I started applying busting loose tools to fear whenever possible. It has been quite a journey, taking me through both minor and major illusions of fear and leading to the most unexpected consequences. Including a relationship breaking apart because my friend experienced my lack of fear as lack of responsibility. Fearlessness is scary! :-)

For some time now I have discovered that fear is not present where it used to be. It's quite amazing, to experience challenges for what they are - challenges - without the fear component, without feeling that I'm somehow endangered. When you're at peace with yourself a challenge is simply an interesting and welcome part of the journey - it's a completely new experience!